Sniffles and the calloused heels

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How do you feel? is the words that everybody is asking me… I would do the same thing… especially with covid roamimg the streets, but right now, I feel… well… blah. Yes, I have my taste (the chocolate cake that my youngest baked was quite fabulous), I have my smell (which in this household filled with vegans may or may not be a good thing) and I’m sane enough to make complete thoughts on my laptop… so I consider that a win.

A few things I’ve learned over the past few days of being under the weather…

1) The house doesn’t get cleaned up automatically. As much as I will it to happen, it just doesn’t. I do my best to pretend that it’s picked up, but we all know stepping over said object on the floor doesn’t cut it. As much as I avert my eyes to look the other way… yeah, auto clean is a no go.

2) Why is it that when you crave a certain food when you’re not feeling well, there is none?

And 3) this is the most important discovery that I’ve made in the age of technology when sick… Have you noticed that when you click on an ad on Instagram, it will show more of a similar type of ad and now when I scroll I have 101 ads and ways to remove callouses off my feet? Because everybody needs soft heels. Help! How do I make it stop?

Welp… I’m gonna rest up for a bit… time to scroll IG and find all the ways to soften up my feet it shouldn’t be too hard as I’ve got a million ads exactly for that in my feed. -tm

Empty food jars and a smidgen of an eighth

Would you like some salsa for your crumb chip?

Hello! Ola! Konichiwa! Welcome!

I am so glad you stopped by as I am about to write about useful stuff like empty food jars in my fridge. Oh you laugh, but you know exactly what I’m talking about! We all have those jars in the fridge that, why?… why why why why are they even taking up prime real estate next to the leftover chili and the tofu dipping sauce *that also may need a quick sniff and probably a toss into the rubbish can*? Why is it always my eyes that laser in and focus on these empty containers like cat hair to a pair of black pants? And how come nobody else seems to see them? And am I the only one that asks why? *I know I know, I’m not supposed to start a sentence with and.*

The why in my household? My kids… and the reasons for why we must keep the… empty peanut butter jar…1 pasta noodle…a leaf of lettuce… a speck of ketchup… a drop of oj… and fill in the blank here ________. That smidgen of an eighth of an eighth of a teaspoon in a Costco size jar and the promise to either eat it, or throw it out by the end of the day has created some unique conversations. But Mom, it’s just enough for a one bite pb&j… but Mom, I can put it on my crumble of chip that I was gonna eat for lunch…but Mom, it’s the perfect amount for my bean burrito *if you mean enough for those tiny sized foods that they’ve made into a TV show*… and then when I throw it out.. but Mom! I was gonna eat that and you threw it away?! Yes! Yes I did!

What peanut butter?
Why?

Is it so wrong of me to want a monopoly on the second shelf for the leftover graveyard? I want to be able to see what needs to be eaten and which are about to expire without the empty containers blocking the view of the headstones of the previous day’s meals. What is so hard about A- just eat that smidgen or B- throw it out! I’m not sure, but I think it may have something to do with C- The game of I would rather put it back in the fridge and have Mom throw it away and I’ll pretend that I didn’t see it. Ah HA! That may be my why! That’s just my own theory and I’m sure there would be a lengthy discussion of why that’s not a real theory and you know… MOM. lol

The end result? Well, it’s always a surprise. It could go either way. Mostly for me if there isn’t an empty jar at some point. And mostly for me when I find the culprit empties hiding behind the deep, dark, depths of the leftover graveyard or tucked away on the bottom shelf of the fridge. But one thing is a constant… a smidgen of an eighth… there should be a measuring spoon for that. -tm

I like maybe

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Annnnnd… We’re back! Okay, maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m back and you’re wondering who’s “we” because this may be the first time you’ve been here. Can I use more may… maybe… may be(s) in one continuous thought? Apparently, the answer is YES. And for the record, maybe *there I go again* I should give you a heads up… this blog is all about random thoughts that shouldn’t be said out loud, exaggerated tales because why not?, and definitely lots of myths that I personally will suggest in my writings that it really happened and maybe it did and maybe it didn’t and there I go writing a run on sentence which I tend to do quite frequently and using lots of maybes and lots of dots for your viewing enjoyment which will either drive you nuts so you never come back again or maybe you’ll be back wondering what the heck I’m up to the next time you visit annnnnnd breathe!

Yes, this is my normal. Thank you for visiting. Have a nice day and maybe come back again. -tm 😀

Can we just be friends?

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Is it really random to just start a new blog and go on like it’s been that way forever? I mean, does there need to be a formal introduction or can we just pretend that we’ve known each other for a long time and I won’t bring up your past and you won’t bring up mine and you won’t blackmail me with stupid stuff I’ve done and I won’t you… but I’ll write about it here anyway. 😉

I mean, how fun is that? Why not start something new and make it a riot right away? Then we can be best of friends and laugh at all and everything together and have that in common. Good idea!

And so here we are… Toast and cheers to a new… hmmm… it’s the beginning of a new year… and… it is a new blog… so… let’s have some fun! Okay yes! Toast and cheers to everything new and fun, and while I’m at it, let’s add some magical myths, maybe some random thoughts and some exaggerated tales to go with! -tm